Monday, March 23, 2009

On finding "Mine".

(Update on previous post: We're still not, to my knowledge, filed for divorce. I asked for the papers. Long story short, he "needs to be the one to do this". *SIGH* I get that, I really do. So, I have backed off. For now. I don't want to be ugly about this, but I really want to be divorced before my birthday.)

Life continues apace here. I am moved into my new home. It is interesting to have a space where it is just me. I don't think I've had that since the one semester at college I had a single room. Sometimes it's odd and a bit TOO quiet, but mostly I really enjoy it. I don't have anyone making me feel guilty if I don't do something on their time schedule. Conversely, if there are dishes in the living room there's no one to bitch at but me either. Heh.

I find that I really like this new space. That I am turning it into a cozy retreat just for me. That my tastes and wants are okay to indulge. And I really like that if I want to leave my knitting by my chair and my stamping on the kitchen table while I work on it no one shoves it out of the way or bitches that I start things and never finish OR teases me about liking to do it. I like that I can create in my own home at my own pace and not disturb anyone else with it. And, anyway, knitting belongs by your chair.

I have two rooms left to really arrange - the bedroom and the office. I'm hoping that those can get done this week. The bedroom WILL, because I have the parents visiting next weekend and I want to show it off. :) And the office might, but that is not as important. I'm still figuring out how to set that room up and they might have good ideas on that when they get here.

I feel like with every decision I make this more MY home. And, to a greater extent, MY life. This all is in keeping with my resolution to put me first this year. I am finding that I am totally worth it.

1 comment:

pb said...

i can't help feel that his decision to delay is his way of maintaining some level of control over your life. you need to move on completely, and he is stopping you from doing that.

let's hope he finally decides to do the right thing.