Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Yes, Virginia, Grammar Counts

I am still on several dating websites, even though I've lost a lot of interest in the idea of "dating" of late (and that's a whole other post). On one of these sites, which caters to the kinky, one can keep a "journal" there and write little snippets etc.

After one evening of perusing the site, I wrote a journal post there in a fit of pique. I wrote about several items but the first was "Grammar counts". I know that in the world of the internet, good writing skills are not highly prized. But, on a site where one is representing oneself solely through the written word, doncha think that at least using spell check would be in order? I'm not even going to talk about the problem most people apparently have with homonyms OR the fact that if you are someone who likes to control your partner you are a DOMINANT, not, as so many seem to think, a "dominate".

After I posted this little rant, I fully expected to be flamed mercilessly. I mean, how DARE I expect cohesive sentences and proper spelling!!!

Well, it took a few months, but I did get the first sorta flame-y email. The main question posed in the email was: Wasn't I more interested in a person's thoughts, feelings and who they are than whether or not they had grammar skills???


Of COURSE I'm more interested in getting to know someone more than using a red pen on their profile. Yet...

...first impressions count for a lot.

More importantly, I've had friends and lovers dump me because I was "talking too smart" or "acting too smart". I really don't want to repeat that, as it was pretty hurtful at the time to be told that I was a snob for using words not everyone understood and that I was doing it "on purpose". I just want to be me without worrying that I'm too this or that or having to watch what I say just to make someone else feel comfortable.

Even more importantly, this site is designed to bring together folks from either side of the D/s equation. Many are on there representing themselves as someone who can train another or aid someone in becoming more disciplined in their life. Yet, they can't be bothered to even spell check or to write a complete sentence? To me, this bodes not well for their abilities elsewhere when that writing is the only thing I have to go by as to whether or not I wish to contact them. They could be the best person in the world of BDSM, but how would I know that from the l33t speak and the abbreviations of three letter words that they have put out there. They demand respect and attention to detail from their S.O's but do not care to have it for themselves? I don't grok it.

Therefore, I stand by my thought that grammar counts. Especially when the only thing you have representing you is your words.

“Life is tons of discipline. Your first discipline is your vocabulary; then your grammar and your punctuation Then, in your exuberance and bounding energy you say you're going to add to that. Then you add rhyme and meter. And your delight is in that power.” -Robert Frost

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