On August 16, 2008 my life changed drastically. My husband informed me, tearfully and with great sadness, that he would like a divorce.
In that moment, months and months and MONTHS of feeling adrift, of never knowing what any given day would bring (affection or disdain), of waffling back and forth as to what i could do, would do, SHOULD do, in that moment it all coalesced and was decided. My life came to a pinpoint. A path to set my feet upon.
I have felt (as one friend put it, but gods know I can't remember who) gobsmacked for a while now. I'm coming out of it more and more. Finding my own way through things, making decisions for ME and no one else.
Yes, at night it gets lonely and I still sleep with a light on. I am ever so grateful for my cats and that they sleep on the bed with me.
So, as I come out of this, I'm feeling the need to write, to chronicle some things. As this is my space, my corner of the intarweeb, I'm going to post things here. Publicly. I can't promise they will always be happy happy joy joy things, but I do hope that there is more of that than sadness or anger. Regardless of tone, these are my thoughts and feelings spoken from my point of view. They are not the whole truth, because really, no one has the whole truth. I need to speak MY truth though.