If all has gone according to plan, right now, at this very minute, the STB-Ex is filing the papers. He called the other day to let me know he had arranged time with his work to do this. He apologized for taking so long. In the end, he's a mensch - at times an irritating mensch, but this is part of why we are filing divorce papers.
Part of me is just relieved that we are moving forward again. That the process is in motion and our lives can chug along the track to our final destination. And then my own personal track can diverge and go where it needs to.
Then again, a fourteen year ride together is nearing its closure. And despite all that has gone on in the last few years, the majority of that time was amazing. I got to spend every day with someone who I considered my best friend. What could be better than that? And so, part of me mourns the end of the ride and the end of the laughter and adrenaline we created together.
Everyone wonders why I don't get angrier, or more harsh with him over things. And, I DO get upset and MUCH more angry than just about anyone sees (save a few close confidants). I think its because I can see the station in the distance, and I know we're coasting towards it pretty fast. I think I just want these last climbs and drops together to be...well, together as much as they can be before we lose each other at the turnstyle back out into the world.