Duck's Back

This weekend I told my Mother I was dating again. After I assured her that is was NOT anyone serious and that the ONLY thing I wanted was some people to go and have dinner with etc etc, she was okay with that. (I did neglect to mention all the sex, but some things she doesn't need to know.)

The first question she asked me was "Is he heavy?", and that made me want to ram my head through a wall and scream endlessly.

You see, I am fat. A fat fatty McFattersons right now. I weigh a good 150 pounds more than I should. So CLEARLY the only man that would go out with me or find me even REMOTELY attractive is another fat person. Also, in my Mother's mind, I am fat because my friends are fat. There was a study - it was on Oprah, probably - and the scientists figured this gem of information out: Fat people have fat friends!! OH NOES!! So, if i'm DATING someone who's fat, I'm going to FOREVER BE FAT AND THEN THE WORLD WILL END AND I WILL HAVE BEEN FAT FOR THE WHOLE OF IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111!!!!

*SNORT*

This is nothing new from my parents. After 24 hours together the topic turns to one of three things: my weight, my current haircolor/hair style and how much they hate it or my piercing in my left ear which my Mother thinks is about me trying to "regain my youth".

This is why my ex really hated going to my parents. Their constant berating of me really bothered him, but mostly i think it was because he hated dealing with the aftermath of me when we got home. It's a lot for me to handle and process - it would be a lot for ANYONE to handle and process. I am well on my way to becoming a master of the technique of letting things roll off my back.

What really helps though is thinking of the men that I have dated - recently and in the past - and how they have all, unequivocally, loved me for who I am and the body I was inhabiting at that moment.

So, this is me...lettin' things roll.